Changing the personality was easy for me since all I had to do was mimic the way many of my friends acted, but maintaining grew harder and harder as I began to have less and less patience with it as each day passed. As of now I only act that way about half of every day. I will continue to do it until I feel that my District doesn´t need it anymore. Also, I would really appreciate it if you could send me the giant red Webster´s dictionary after I arrive in Washington, or a dictionary of similar size would be fine as well. Since I have been studying Spanish, I have been struggling a little with speaking the way that I normal speak. Words that I would normally use in sentences are coming slower to me, and it is extremely frustrating. Normally whenever I would have this problem back at home, I would just go look up the words in a dictionary or with the dictionary on my phone.
So I have bitterly realized that the food here won’t necessarily be getting better anytime soon. There are about 15-20 meals that are cycled through here and I unfortunately only like around 5 of them. I still eat the food I am given though. . . I just can’t wait to get to Vancouver. There are 3 reasons I am so excited to leave the MTC or CCM for Mexico.
- I am seriously wanting to actually teach a real person instead of actors, which is what I’ve been teaching here in the MTC. I can’t seem to gain an understanding of how my companion and every single person in my District can so heavily feel the spirit when doing the progressing investigator lessons. I appear to be the only one that feels almost nothing, still. I just don’t feel the spirit when something I am doing is fake. I understand that the lessons are meant to seem real, especially since the fake investigators we teach are actually extremely good at playing their roles and not even coming close to breaking character. But no matter how much I understand what is spoken in Spanish or what I teach in Spanish, I never feel really anything. My companion has felt the spirit so strongly that he has been in tears 6 times already, while I just sit next to him with a straight emotionless face since I’m not feeling anything since I know it’s fake.
- I just miss Washington. I want to go there so much right now not only for the rain, but also just because I want to get out of Mexico. I can honestly say that I really do not like it here. This is definitely a city that I feel blessed to not live in, at least after traveling through a large portion of it. The people here almost always have 1 of 2 looks on their faces. Happiness because they are with their loved ones, and only because they are with their loved ones, and misery/exhaustion from life. Today while on my way to the Temple here in Mexico, I saw an older man who appeared to be using as much willpower as he could muster to stay standing on his 2 feet and legs which looked so worn down and metaphorically destroyed that he could have literally collapsed at any moment. He was trying to sell these 2 bags of oranges possible because that is all he had that he could sell. The people here really make me feel even more thankful for the life that I have been able to have, even though at one point my family was also dirt poor. I was already thankful since I already knew what life here was like, but at the same time, I get a different form of that same knowledge when I am actually seeing it in person. Sometimes only 10 feet away from me from the window of a bus. . .
- I just want to be able to make my own food already. I eat my fill here but nonetheless, I don’t really enjoy it. . . I am So looking forward to being able to have eggs every single day of the week again like I am used to. Here in the MTC, eggs are only served maybe 3 times week, and half the time they aren’t even normal scrambled eggs.
The number of spiritual experiences that I am having is becoming greater and greater as I continue to deal with what I am dealing with here. I have still not developed a love or even a remote like for this language yet, but I am praying for help to love it every day, normally more than once. It’s also demoralizing for me since I am the only missionary I currently know of here that dislikes the language. Everyone, every single person here that I ask about the language says that they love it. My companion Elder Coombs is really doing well with the language. He loves it the most in my district and he studies it the hardest. He is almost always happy but not satisfied with where he is in his knowledge of the language. He tells me that he is confused at how I am not getting it down. He claims that I am one of the most intelligent individuals he has ever met, for my age, and that he thinks that if I studied the way he does now, that I would “skyrocket” passed the rest of the class. This next week I am really going to try and study the language far beyond harder than I have been so that I can attempt to prove him right.
I have started writing in my journal a lot more than I ever used too. And it is Not because I am just having so many awesome experiences here, but because of the feeling that I had when I was reading in Nephi earlier this week about how he kept a record of all the things that her did for the potential benefit that it would bring to himself or others in the future. I usually write a little bit about different things every day, but Sundays are the days that I write the most. I know that my memory is good now but it may not remain the same as I get older, so I have started writing down memories from many years ago in my journal just to be on the safe side. I am also writing more because I am jealous of my companion’s handwriting and wish to heavily improve my own. His handwriting is almost perfect. It is small, refined, clean, and easy for anyone with good eye sight to read.
I had a powerful moment of insight this week. I don’t remember if I already shared it in a previous email to someone else, but one of the nights while I was talking to some of the other members in my district about one of my favorite Video Games, being League Of Legends, I realized that I should study my own demeanor and how I speak about the game and apply that to how I will eventually teach the gospel when I get to Washington. This insight came to me because of what some of the other elders told me. They said, that even though they have never played this game or even heard of it, I describe the game in such a way that every single one of them is actually looking forward to trying out the game after their missions. Now, before anyone thinks that I spend a large portion of the day talking about video games, I want to make it clear that I only discuss games after 9:30 when we are back in our apartment, or sometimes during meals. Half of the reason I talk about it is for fun, and the other half is because, based on what my district has told me, the way I talk about games actually relaxes them and helps them relieve stress, which I think is awesome since it also helps me relieve stress. In other words it conveniently kills 2 birds with one stone. And stress relief is extremely important hear, based on what our instructors have told us. So again, I have decided to begin studying the way that I talk about League of Legends with the other Elders here, so that I can speak with the same vigor while talking about many of the principles of the Gospel.
There are many, many bitter sweet days here. Thankfully though I, like many others Elders and Sisters, am finding effective and rule abiding ways to cope with the things I am experiencing here. Also, there is an unspoken rule here that when EVER ANYTHING happens that involves all of the missionaries here like eating or devotionals or everything really, the Elders must Always allow the Sisters to go before them. Now I have no problem with this, but when the some of the Sisters begin using unspoken rule to the extreme, it really tries my patience, which I don’t have much of when it comes to this rule. I mean this specifically when meal time comes. So the way it works, is that regardless of how far along in the line the Elders are, if Sisters come up from behind say 30 Elders, then they may pass them all up to the front of the line. I have no problem with this. I honestly don’t. What I have a problem with is when Sisters who are coming back for 2nds and or 3rds pass up the Elders who haven’t even gotten their first servings, and then take their frustratingly sweet time deciding if they really even want more food, after they begin holding up the line. I did pray for patience and I am So sure that this is one of my trials for building more patience, because mine is seriously being tried.
To end on a more spiritual not instead of something negative, I gave my first full talk in Spanish this past Sunday. Elders and Sisters are told to have Spanish talks ready every Sunday just in case they get picked on the spot to give a talk in front of everyone. Thankfully I had a talk in Spanish ready this time. My talk only lasted for about 4-5 minutes which is how long they are supposed to be, but it was also the first talk that I have written in about 4 years I think. I wrote in my journal that one of my goals is to become so fluent in the language so that I will never have to write another talk again, whether it be a Spanish or an English talk.
I also was told one of the coolest scientific facts that I have ever read at this point by Sister Fletcher in my District. I won’t type out the entire explanation, but it was about light. What she allowed me to read was about how objects that move at extreme speeds dilate the time that effects them. And as we all know, nothing that anyone knows of can move faster than the speed of light. Therefore in knowing this, light is not and cannot be effected by time because of the speed that it travels at. Now with this being said, that would mean that because Light is not effected by time, that it has no beginning or end, technically. Now when you apply this to the gospel, we know that God is the Alpha and Omega, he is the beginning and the end, and that he is also without beginning or end. God is also represented by light, which also scientifically speaking has no beginning or end, since time cannot effect it. My knowledge on this topic is still not very great, but that is also because I am not allowed to research it like I normally would if I was back at home. Nonetheless though, I found this information to be quite amazing both scientifically and spiritually. Since all of you back home can freely use the internet, I would encourage that anyone who also found this fun fact intriguing like have, to go and research it a little more deeply. Until next week,
Elder Adam R. F. Scoville